This commemorative tee celebrates the Promenade Merchant’s Association’s 10th Anniversary, a designation certified by our Legal Interpretations Subcommittee as close enough. Each shirt is woven from 100% cotton imported through entirely legitimate channels, bearing only a statistically insignificant chance of having passed through a wormhole or customs inspection.
Pre-shrunk fabric keeps your size stable across most known dimensions. Side-seamed construction offers the kind of structural integrity normally reserved for hull plating. Fit is calibrated by proprietary COSMIC approved garment-optimization subroutines and is therefore, by our own estimation, excellent to exceptional.
Perfect for merchants, visitors, and anyone who has ever been mildly inconvenienced by a promenade kiosk. Guaranteed to last at least ten (10) anniversaries, even if the PMA doesn’t.
*All references to cotton origin, dimensional stability, wormhole adjacency, hull-plating strength, COSMIC calibration, or “excellent to exceptional” fit constitute non-binding promotional puffery under Interstation Commerce Code §14.7(b) and other relevant laws. Cotton may not be from a traditional farm; “pre-shrunk” applies only in locally observable dimensions; hull-plating comparisons are aspirational metaphors. COSMIC denies involvement in garment sizing and is not liable for anomalies, chirps, or judgments. “Guaranteed to last ten anniversaries” is a figurative expression and not evidence that the PMA can count. Terms subject to revision, revocation, or retroactive reinterpretation.
THE IMPORTANT STUFF:
• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester) • Fabric weight: 4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²) • Pre-shrunk fabric • Side-seamed construction • Shoulder-to-shoulder taping • Blank product sourced from Guatemala, Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US
This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!
Age restrictions: For adults EU Warranty: 2 years
In compliance with the General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR), Oak inc. and SINDEN VENTURES LIMITED ensure that all consumer products offered are safe and meet EU standards. For any product safety related inquiries or concerns, please contact our EU representative at gpsr@sindenventures.com. You can also write to us at none or Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus.
